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Maybe.. If Only.. posted at 8:25 PM
Sunday, May 8, 2011

I address this with disappointment, guilt, and pity.

You are one great person with exceptional skills. You are someone with this pretty face and perfect body shape. You have a happy disposition every time. I doubt it if anyone from your surrounding hasn’t envied you; Because I for one envied you a lot.

Everyone liked you – from boys to aunties and uncles. You always wore new clothes, and had new gadgets. In terms of beauty, body shape, height, and even the size of one’s feet, you were always ahead of me. You liked competition, but I never did; But deep inside, before, when I realized I was already far behind, I hated you. I hated you because you made me feel as if I am one sour loser. You weren’t so proud of yourself to start with, but I was intimidated. I was jealous. I was envious. I was bitter.

But you know what, I shrugged all those thoughts off when I felt that I always had a friend when I’m with you, when I think of you. Gone were the days when we tried to pull each other’s hair off because of anger and silly childishness. We’re grown-ups now. And we should be taking the same path.. But you took a different road.

I couldn’t blame you, really. That feeling overpowered your ambitions in life and yes, it couldn’t be helped. Once you’ve been caught, you can never get out; And if it ends with one, you’ll be looking for someone again. That feeling, and maybe the thought of having the ability to make people head over heels for you, ate you. You were drunken with so much appreciation.

And now, what’s done is done. The past can never be returned. I don’t know how you will face this point in your life that young. I don’t know how will I face you one day. I feel uncomfortable with your situation now; Not because you’re a disgrace. You aren’t a disgrace . But because I wasn’t with you all the time. Maybe if we were intact, you wouldn’t look at the mirror seeing a different picture every now and then. Maybe you would grow like the boring me who doesn’t have a lot of friends, but has enough. Maybe you would be fangirling a group and we’ll be having fanclub wars. Up to now, maybe you haven’t still experienced entering a relationship.

Maybe.. If only..


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You Don't Know Me
I rant a lot. That's when I'm in the mood. Bear with it. :P