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Thirteen Mystery posted at 4:14 PM
Friday, April 23, 2010

They say thirteen isn’t a lucky number. As much as possible when it’s Friday the 13th, people stays at home for safety. When mom and I were watching TV and Miriam Defensor’s campaign ad showed upon as, she said, “Oh. She’s so unlucky to be number thirteen in the ballot form.” There is really something about this number. But then, I just couldn’t find a way to answer my curiosity. Why is it so unlucky? Why are people scared to do things when the calendar strikes to its 13th day? What mystery is yet to unfold?

I again dealt with the unlucky number yesterday. We were about to leave from my cousin’s house who had her birthday when my sister started to count the people inside the cab. I was like, “What the hell is she doing?” Mother then joined in the counting too. I find it crazy. I don’t believe much with beliefs that aren’t really proven by reality ‘cause as far as I know, it’s purely coincidental when things would turn out like that with the sayings. Yes, I look down to beliefs that are being carried on up to this day by so many generations already. To my point of view, those are just baloney. Blah blah blah. I find people who believes in them immature.

I think I just have to be strike by it until I 13elieve in it. But I’m hoping for it not to happen anymore. I don’t want to suffer the consequences.


Fastfood Friend posted at 7:31 PM
Tuesday, April 20, 2010

When my stomach grumbles every time I’m out of the house, there’s only one place that my feet would lead me ---> McDonald’s

Now what is with the fastfood chain? I don’t really know. Maybe because there isn’t a lot of places to go eat in my area that’s why it’s the one stop shop. But then, why choose McDonald’s of all the other places to eat? I think it’s costumer-friendly and they really take and give your orders as fast as a bullet. You don’t have to go wait for some Italian dining that would take you ages if you are already hearing some unusual sounds coming from your tummy. :D Another thing, it’s cheap. Not that, it tastes also cheap but the price is cheap enough that children like me who doesn’t have a work can buy.

So yeah, I love McDonald’s. I love Fruity Green Apple. Caramel Sundae, and Burger Mcdo. 

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In Your Face posted at 7:43 PM
Sunday, April 11, 2010

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you

I’ll Meet You there, Vanilla Twilight, Strawberry Avalanche, and West Coast Friendship are a few of my favorite Owl City songs. I love the unique blending of sounds in every song this artist offers. His voice and written lyrics are wonderfully done. I don’t know what others would say but these songs are like the definition of modern lullaby. At night, I let Owl City songs roll until my eyes would close and lead me to lalaland.

A lot of people have already been captured with their music and my former best friend joins in the wagon. I believe we discovered Owl City at the same time but she was more vocal about it in school so maybe she thought I wasn’t a fan and she grew with the thought of that. Last month while the seniors were practicing for the graduation and we were hanging out by our institution’s mini park, we were borrowing each other’s phone even though I felt awkward and I know she also felt awkward with our sudden interaction after who knows when. But then, I noticed she became secretive now unlike before. She started browsing my gallery and when she saw a list of Owl City songs she asked me in pity, “Did you just download these because of me?” ‘In your face.' I thought. She was going nuts. What does she think? My world still revolves around her after betraying me and moving on THAT fast after our friendship started to deteriorate? Nostalgia hits me when I start to recollect about the past. I believe I deserve to be happy today and not her, not just her. Life is so unfair. I’ve been trying not to tell that statement but it just so happens that I’m really out of luck and I just have to utter that again and again. The funny thing is, I’m still hurt every time I see her with her. You know what I mean. It stabs me more when I see her treatment to her. She’s more caring and sweet towards her. There was a time when I slightly hit the back of the new best friend who actually isn’t new because they were already friends/close friends/best friends when they were in elementary… Back to the main idea, during that time when I was making papansin, my former best friend saw what I was doing and glared at me. God damn it! When we were best friends and somebody would tease me, she’ll even join them and be the additional burden. Isn’t that too much? Isn’t that unfair? Because I was so hurt, that afternoon I sent a group message to my contacts concerning my ‘problem’, Then she replied with, “Nasasaktan ka pala.” So she knew on the very first place that I would be hurt, that I am hurt and still she showed how arrogant and selfish she was. She said my vocabulary is filled with doubt and I’m living in the past. Haha. Now I’m just laughing at myself for being such a fool. I want to forget about her and move on like what she already did. I’ve got no more business to do with somebody who's numb and freak and doesn't know how to consider other people's feelings. 

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The Dilemmas posted at 1:28 PM
Friday, April 9, 2010

Howdy. My whole week has focused much on military training. COLT, the thing that made my whole body sore, made me feel my left foot was sprained. I put effort in it; but not much, nor less. The fact that I'm not certain if I'll ever have a good rank made me thought of quitting. Besides, I got in just because they needed replacements for the people who passed the test but didn’t care. “To you newbies, keep in mind that you are just replacements and even though you’re far better than the old trainees, still you can’t get a higher position than them.” Quoted from what our instructor would usually say. He tries to put that up in every discussion he makes with us. It’s heart breaking, though I already knew the consequences when my classmates were still nagging on me to join. But still, I wish I just didn’t take the offer. It’s a cheap offer, I must say. For now, it’s just a waste of time dealing with unreasonable people. Even though the five-day training, ah scratch that.. I just attended for four days.. Even though the four-day training was half-day, once I reach home, I was already dead tired.

When they asked who applied for S6 whose job is Information, I believe there were only a few who raised his hand. I was quite relieved to think I have only a few competitors for the rank. Haha. But then, a nonsense thing came up and ruined my mood. Since the Binatbatan Festival is held every May, our school is needed to participate in the said act. And the main point here is that, when you join in the dancing for the festival, your rank will be moved a notch or two. I just can’t find any possible connection of CAT with the dancing. It’s two different things and yet they’re trying to blend it with each other. Now, what’s my point again? How about US who have bones as hard as rocks and feet that are glued on the ground? Our instructor, again, keeps on reprimanding us for not participating. He says we don’t even know how to help our school, and he’s sorry if the ones who joined will have higher ranks than us. He keeps on blabbing nonsense. ‘So what? If that’s going to happen, then I don’t care anymore.’

Enough of the first dilemma, ‘cause here comes another one. My mom told me the other day that we’ll be going to Ilocos Norte yesterday to attend a graduation party of her former officemate’s child who got in at PSHS-IRC. She told me to wait for her call for me to get dressed, but I didn’t receive any call or sms; Until she got home and told me we aren’t going anymore ‘cause the 4:00PM bus already left us. I was disappointed. I was giddy the time she told me we’re going. I just wanted to go somewhere I’m not familiar with and I thought my simple wish would be granted until reality slapped me. I’ll just have to wait for the Baguio overnight escapade she just told me. And though I haven’t been to Baguio, I’m not expecting that much anymore because I already know her. My mom often breaks her promises. She told me a hundred times that we’re going to watch movie flicks in the movie house, but none of that were given life. But I can tolerate it now.

How many dilemmas have I already said? Two. Here comes the last for today. Super Junior has already arrived at NAIA this morning and I missed it. That’s one of the reasons why I hate living in the province. I’m so far away with civilization and I just have to accept the fact that not everything is possible. It will cost a lot in going to Manila without a ride, and without somewhere to stay in. I’m jealous with all the fangirls who did riot in the airport. I’m more jealous with the ones who will go to the concert tomorrow. I’m jealous, but I too is excited for them. The feeling of seeing your idols is one of the greatest things that couldn’t be described with words.

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The Gods Will Soon Again Rise In The East posted at 4:20 PM
Tuesday, April 6, 2010

It was a very fine night just when I finished downloading Toki Wo Tomete when I read a very awful article title on my timeline. “TVXQ to stop their group activities” awaken my every bones.

My heart beat so fast. Really. I was hyperventilating; groaning out of pain that if I was suffering from severe asthma or cardiomyopathy, I would find myself the next day lying on a hospital bed. I ain’t kidding. My world literally stopped that I didn’t know what I was doing. Crystal spheres didn’t form in my eyes, but it’s my blood that has been drained. I cursed. I was devastated. I was angry. Jumping off from a building was an option. Suicide much? A big YES is coming your way. The five people rolled into one have already been a part of me. Maybe I wasn’t aware of their existence when they debuted. I know I am just one of the millions of Cassiopeia. And even though I was just a fan way back in 2008, I feel as if I’m a part of them to the point that if they die, my body and soul will strongly follow them to grave. People who don’t consider my fandom might think my insanity is just too much. They can think that way as long as they want but nothing’s going to stop me from fighting.

Before I could again say always keep the faith & hope to the end, doubt was running in my head. There wasn’t any room for keeping the faith in my system. I knew it wasn’t the end, but I also knew that just a few more strokes on the artwork may screw the whole thing. For some reason, pessimism went to optimism. I even joined in trending #alwayskeepthefaith. Hell yeah, it reached number one! It only proves that a lot were hanging on instead of giving up. That thing made my aura a little lighter. The consoling messages of other people made me think that everything happens for a reason and I don’t have a choice but to accept and stand by their side whatever path they take.

Waiting is tiresome. I certainly know how it feels, especially when you waited for something for so long and you ended up waiting for nothing at all. But then, TVXQ is an exemption. Yunho, Jaejoong, Yoochun, Junsu, and Changmin are my only love. Without them, where would I be? They are already an attachment that can never be erased. Until then, I’ll always keep my faith forever. I’ll patiently wait even if it takes a lifetime. TVXQ/DBSK/Tohoshinki, I know you’ll come back ‘cause I believe in your greatness. Hwaiting~

"I hope that no matter how many and how great our difficulties may be, we will always overcome them together. Just as long as the five of us are together, we are most happy."

"Our friendship is stronger than most people because we talk and breathe in the same room and we eat and sleep in the same place."

"Not only two years, but even until twenty, two hundred, two thousand years...we always have to be together."

"The members are like my brothers. We are just like a family."

"Only when the five of us are together, are we called TVXQ!"

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You Don't Know Me
I rant a lot. That's when I'm in the mood. Bear with it. :P